US | US AND FAMILY

Series “Us” Sermon # 4 “Us And Family”

1 John 4:19 (NIV) “We love because He first loved us.”

John 15:12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

Ephesians 3:1 “For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,…”

John 13:35 “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.” — George Burns

Family is like fudge — mostly sweet with a few nuts.

Family is where life begins and laundry never ends.

Family: A bunch of people who share your DNA, your embarrassing childhood stories, and the exact same eye-roll when someone says “we need to talk.”

Family: A group of people who share the same genetics, annoying habits, and a collective inability to arrive anywhere on time.

Family: The people who know exactly how to push your buttons … because they installed them.

Family: A group that doesn’t have it all together, but together has it all.

Adam and Eve —Son Cain kills Abel.
Abraham and Sarah — Hagar 
Jacob — Multiple wives 12 sons WOW!
David — incredible king, failed father.
1 Kings 1:6 “Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, ‘Why are you doing that?’" 
Jesus — siblings who didn’t believe in Him at first.

Acts 21:8-9 “Leaving the next day, we reached Caesarea and stayed at the house of Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven. He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied.”

2 Timothy 1:5 (NLT) “I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.”  
Generation Of Faith

Psychologists say the “emotional blueprint” for relationships, trust, and identity is built in a Childs first three years.
Neuroscience shows that during these years the brain forms over a million neural connections per second. Family interactions literally wire the brain.

Psalm 22:9-10 (NLT) “Yet you brought me safely from my mother’s womb and led me to trust you at my mother’s breast. I was thrust into your arms at my birth.
You have been my God from the moment I was born.”

Family doesn’t just raise children, it shapes how they experience reality.
In the first three years these three questions get answered:
Am I Safe?    Am I Valued?    Am I Loved?

Your starting line is not your finish line.
Your childhood may explain you, but it does not have to define you.
Family may write the first chapter of your story, but God writes the ending.

Psychologist Ann Masten in her book “Ordinary Magic: Resilience in Development”
People are resilient and often recover from early adversity when they have:
One supportive relationship. — A sense of purpose — Hope for the future

1. Know Who You Are
John 8:14 “Even if I bear witness of Myself, My witness is true, for I know where I came from and where I am going;” You are unique. There is no one like you. Be yourself!

Jesus secured identity, resulted in confidence.
People who don’t know who they are:
Get offended easily. Compete constantly. Seek approval endlessly
An identity secure in Christ, allows you to stop needing everyone to validate you.

“The church preaches too much about who we aren’t. Knowing who you now are and Who lives in you is the key to Christian living.” Ryan Rufus

2. Practice Vulnerability
John 1:14 “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us…”
Knowing who you are, where you come from and where you are going frees you to be present and authentic.

C. S. Lewis (The Four Loves) “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

3. Avoid Labelling People
People don’t appreciate Judgement or Assumptions.
We tell ourselves an average of 50 stories a day. We forget they are stories.

We tend to reduce people to labels.
difficult / lazy / dramatic / unreliable Labels freeze people in their worst moments.
God is always doing something bigger in people than what we see. Grace leaves room for growth.

4. Excel At Packaging
Colossians 3:14 “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”
Don’t be a brown paper bag. Add some bling to the presentation.

5. Practice Repair
Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;  bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do."

Conflict doesn’t damage relationships a lack of repair does.
Healthy relationships are not built on perfection, they are built on repair.

“The success or failure of a relationship depends largely on whether repair attempts are noticed and accepted.” John Gottman 
Repair moments:
    •    “I’m sorry.”
    •    “I didn’t mean that.”
    •    “Can we start over?”
    •    “I value you more than being right.”

Judges 11:2- 3 “'You shall have no inheritance in our father’s house, for you are the son of another woman.’ Then Jephthah fled from his brothers and dwelt in the land of Tob;”
Jephthah :— to open for oneself.
Tob :— to be good, be pleasing, be joyful, be beneficial, be pleasant, be favourable, be happy, be right.

Jesus didn’t come to start a perfect family. He came to restore a broken one.